WHO AM I?
- I assault police officers.
- I drive under the influence and then get a ride home from the police.
- I flaunt campaign laws and the law in general.
- I write the laws that I flaunt.
- I use federal employees to remove my things from my flooded home.
- I eat at a cafeteria for free.
- I can shoot a friend in the face and well….
- I have my hair cut at a salon in the building I work in, also for free.
- My healthcare package is top notch, blue ribbon and follows me to the grave.
- My retirement benefits are for life and ensure that I will continue my pampered lifestyle.
- My friends fly me around the country free (even if they aren’t my friends they still want things from me and I am more than happy to ride along).
- I can cavort and golf around the world on someone else’s dime and call it work.
- I don’t have to ever tell the truth.
- I can have sexual relations with my employees during work hours.
- I make promises that I have no intention of ever keeping.
- I will kiss your baby then run up the deficit so your child will be mired in debt when they are older.
- I send men and women into battle to fight and die, never having put on a uniform myself.
- I can sexually harass, rape, have morals as low as my approval ratings.
- I can make evil look good and good look evil.
- I spend money, your money, like a drunken sailor on leave for the first time in over a year.
Who am I? I am an American politician.
Anyone interested in more straight-talking topics can check Burton's blog at www.elburton.com.